2003 MARCH TOUR by Patrick Berkery     Friday, March 7 - Toledo, OH - Frankie's We've got a good bit of touring lined up for the next month or so with some pretty good bands (first like-minded pop rockers the Waxwings, then Nashville Hell raiser Bobby Bare, Jr. & band) and some pretty good gigs (our SXSW label showcase with Minus 5 looks to be choice). And we once again own our own van. But if the spiffy rental van we paid through the nose for on our last two outings was a sleek Chrysler LeBaron with a plush leather interior, tinted windows and a boss quadraphonic sound system, our re-jiggered '92 Chevy Astrovan & trailer combination is akin to a late model Ford Futura. Nuthin' fancy, but it gets the job done. Except, of course, when the ONE KEY you have for the trailer lock snaps just as you're about to leave town. No one panics (but I'm pretty certain it's the first time I've ever seen "Gentleman" Ed Hogarty take the Lord's name in vain) and a locksmith is on the spot in 20 minutes to fix the problem and get us on our way. (Almost forgot: as we're loading the van, I step inside Scott's house to use the bathroom and end up locking myself in the loo thanks to a faulty door handle. After about 15 minutes of unanswered cell phone calls they finally hear me yelling out the window and I'm saved. Good thing he had the new Field & Stream in there). We arrive in Toledo around 8:30 and meet up with the Waxwings from Detroit, who we'll be gigging with the next week or so. Great fellas, great band. The staff at Frankie's plies us with free pitchers of beer and some pizzas. Unfortunately, it's a clusterfuck 5-band bill and we've got a 30-minute set with barely enough time for a line check. A guitar string breaks midway in, a couple of cues are missed, and it's a typical first night gig after a long day's drive. And that's not even the worst part. As we're preparing to load-out, some nu metal ogre with scabby piercings and tattoos straight from Ozzfest '97 starts telling me I have a "faggot haircut" and that I play in a "faggot band." I'd seriously like to kill this person at this late and frustrating hour (or at least tell him Linkin Park sucks) but I hold my usually acid tongue and decide it's best to get the fuck out of Dodge and head to the Motel 6. The apologetic doorman tells me this is Frankie's son and that he has a habit of doing this to "impress the ladies." Set List Catch & Release Emmanuelle Half-Richard's Forever You (You, You) - new song Anything at All - new song A Simple How Are You Bought Your Ghost Threadbare     Saturday, March 8 - Chicago, IL - Schuba's It's a balmy 7 degrees in Chicago when we hit town late Saturday afternoon, but it's toasty warm inside our friend Cynthia's apartment where we'll be staying tonight. We kill time drinking tea and playing cards and head off to soundcheck. We're first on a four-band bill with yet another 30-minute set. But, again, that's the least of our worries. As we're eating a pre-show meal (Schuba's, great folks that they are, always feeds us) we notice our touring vessel has been towed from the bank parking lot where we parked it across the street. We find out where it is, put it behind us, and play a damn good set to a fairly full room. After the gig, I drink a bunch of beers to slow things down a bit, and we await the return of our van & trailer. It's back and we're $270 lighter in the change purse. This and the absolute reaming we're getting at the gas pump (the tour average is about $2.20 a gallon) means we probably won't have enough for that sporty RV we've had our eyes on in the Auto Trader. With Cynthia and her friend Ryan in tow, we head to an after hours place across town where everyone is dancing except me. I prefer to watch the freakshow, which features a he-she fighting with "her" boyfriend, a drunken guy from the 'burbs unsuccessfully trying to line-up a threesome, and a guy jumping off tables and break dancing all by his lonesome. I think I made the right choice. Set List Catch & Release Emmanuelle You (You, You) Half-Richard's Forever Anything at All A Simple How Are You Bought Your Ghost Threadbare     Sunday, March 9 - Urbana, IL - Indie Media Center After an amazing brunch in celebration of Cynthia's roommate Michelle's birthday, we drive down the Interstate to Urbana. Tonight's show is at the Indie Media Center, a fairly D.I.Y. operation featuring plenty of leftist literature and a daisy fresh scent not normally associated with the joints we work. You can't smoke, but you can bring your own booze, so us and the 'Wings go in on a case of beer and a bottle of something or other. For a Sunday night, a nice little crowd turns out, and all of them seem to be familiar with both bands. We break out our record geek's wet dream medley of Wreckless Eric's "Whole Wide World" and Alex Chilton's "Hey Little Child" for the first time in a while and play one of the better shows of the tour, methinks. The Waxwings do their thing in fine style, playing one song after another that sticks to your brain in your sleep. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Don't Know Why Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Sleeping Knights of Jesus/Catch & Release Threadbare     Monday, March 10 - Columbia, MO - Shattered This is what happens when you spend the day in Urbana dicking around, trying to find a matinee showing of the screwball frat comedy Old School (3 stars out of 5, you really can't go wrong with the Will Ferrell/Vince Vaughn tandem, but not enough gratuitous boob & beaver shots for this reviewer's taste). You roll into Columbia thinking it's a late show only to find out you're way tardy for this early all ages gig. The club and the 'Wings are totally cool about our miscue (let's chalk it up to a good 'ol lack of communication) and we set up in record time to play an abbreviated set in front of a polite crowd. The early start time is to make room for the club's normal Monday night jawn: Hip-Hop night. Faster than you can say, "Biyatch, where's my chronic??" the pasty white kids in Teenage Fanclub shirts are outnumbered 30-to-1 by players and playettes in Enyce, Sean John and Phat Farm gear. Sadly, my FUBU tracksuit is back at the hotel, but I try to work it on the dance floor anyway. Feeling a little like the Delta gang at the Otis Day & the Knights gig in Animal House, we head down the street with the Waxwings and some of their local friends to a very cool watering hole where I proceed to watch everyone around me get rip-roaring plastered. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Give it to the Soft Boys (retitled Give it to the Waxwings) Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You Catch & Release Threadbare     Tuesday, March 11 - Norman, OK - Opolis People often ask what it’s like to be touring at this level. I often say, "Some nights are really good, but Monday nights in Richmond are Monday nights in Richmond." I will now say "Tuesday nights in Norman are Tuesday nights in Norman." Nice room (run by a couple members of the Starlight Mints) good sets by both bands, but only a handful of locals turn up for the rock. Turns out, it’s the first of several nights where we’re competing with a bigger show cross-town. (Tonight’s winner: Hot Hot Heat). The sting of the light turnout is softened by the deluxe accommodations at the local Super 8. You make your own Belgian waffles! They have a gym! A ping-pong table! A swimming pool! The whole place reeks of chlorine! I hope this tour never ends! Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ’s Sake Catch & Release Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You Wednesday, March 12 - Dallas, TX - Opolis Sad to say, but after tonight our time with the Waxwings is up. The week’s gone by pretty fast, and luckily today’s drive down to big D is a short hop. We get to Club Clearview with plenty of time to spare and find out Hot Hot Heat is again playing right down the street. The club is located in the Deep Ellum district where it seems all the rock clubs are. There’s a even a bar across the street blasting Survivor and Eddie Money songs at full volume from their roof deck. Who says rock is dead? We soon discover that everything really is bigger in Texas. Like parking tickets. They give us two because we’ve got a van and a trailer. Drum sounds are bigger, too. I don’t know what kind of Texas-sized crack the sound guy (more on him in a minute) was smoking but he had the rack tom for the first band – the most fucking excellent Witches, from Detroit – about 25 times higher than anything else in the mix. And he doesn’t change a thing!! So, as we’re getting ready to play and he’s miking my kit he asks if, like every other band in the free world, we’re headed to SXSW. I say, "yes." He asks, with what I assume to be typical indie rock irony if we’re going there to "make it." "Fuck, yeah, J.R.," I reply. With stone cold seriousness, he stops what he’s doing and goes into this five-minute spiel about how we should consider relocating to Dallas because there’s a lot of "connections" here and a lot of good bands (he runs down a list: Pantera, Norah Jones, Old ‘97s, etc., etc.) have come out of here. I tell him we’ll think about it, as long as he’s doing sound. He walks away. We play a pretty good show, meet some very enthusiastic fans of our little band, but I still can’t believe the conversation I had with this guy. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ’s Sake Catch & Release Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You Thursday, March 13 - Austin, TX - SXSW: Trophy’s (day) Continental (night) We have no earthly idea what to expect from SXSW - the mother of all music conferences – but we’re prepared for anything and everything: fat cat A&R guys lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills; publicity flaks hawking the next big garage band from Norway/Sweden/Omaha/Detroit/Australia/Brooklyn/San Bernardino; Mojo Nixon; lots of drinking; whatever the party calls for. We arrive in Austin in the early afternoon to grab our credentials and check in to Scott’s old buddy Tim’s house. We’re in town for a few days so we stay with Tim, girlfriend Shelly and their baby boy Harry (and their two dogs and cat). We can’t thank them enough. First on the agenda is an afternoon party at Trophy’s, which is hosted by our Austin friends Grand Champeen. Trophy’s is a little roadside shack of a bar with a decent crowd for 3:00 pm on a Thursday afternoon. It’s about 100 degrees in the joint as we tear into a rip-snortin’ set, playing on GC’s gear. We dust off Big Star’s “Can’t Have Me” for the first time in a good long while and the place goes crazy. Fuck, I wish we’d written that one. We’re drenched in sweat (I think I’ve lost about 10 lbs. In water weight) and don’t have a ton of time to get ready for tonight’s gig, so Yep Roc promotion guy Marc Schatz is kind enough to let us use his hotel room to primp (read: put on clean underwear and find a shirt that’s not too wrinkled) and bathe. We arrive at Marc’s hotel expecting to see his roomie, Red Eye retail guy William Paris, in bed with a high-priced hooker on the Yep Roc dime, but he’s just watching America’s Funniest Home Videos. Shaved & showered, we head to the Continental for tonight’s Yep Roc showcase. We open the show, which also features the Minus 5, Doyle Bramhall, Thad Cockrell, the Iguanas, and Big Sandy and his Fly Rite boys. As I’m setting up my drums in the empty club, Peter Buck (who basses w/Minus 5) comes strolling in with some choice ‘60s surf & psych vinyl under his arm. The M5 is using our gear tonight, so Peter and I chat for a bit and wonder where the hell the drink tickets are. Yeah, I saw this conversation in my future when I was watching R.E.M. from the nosebleeds at the Philadelphia Spectrum in 1989. As everyone’s going about their pre-show business, greeting new acquaintances, saying hi to friends at the label, I take a peek out front and notice a line down the block. Something tells me this is gonna be good. By the time we take the stage, the room is filled to capacity and starving for the rock, which we deliver big time. People call out for fave songs (some of which we sheepishly admit we just never bothered learning to play live) and greet us with Texas-size applause throughout the set. At one point, I look to my right and see Pete Buck and Steve Wynn sitting right behind Bret’s guitar amp. Surreal. Afterwards, we sell more merch than I think we’ve ever sold, meet some more folks, including M5 braintrust/R.E.M. utility guy Scott McCaughey – one of the genuinely nicest and most talented guys in rock, and M5/R.E.M. drummer Bill Rieflin, who, like a schmuck, I confuse with another drummer entirely. Philly writer Neal Pollack gets thrown out for starting a skirmish, we chat about the Replacements and Philly’s own Adam Brodsky with Mojo Nixon, we get stupid drunk, mingle with the locals and other musicians, and have about as much fun as we’ve ever had at a gig. It’s officially a great night. Set List (Trophy's) Summer (of Our First Hello) Forever You (You, You) Emmanuelle Half-Richard’s Give it to the Soft Boys Can’t Have Me Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Catch & Release Set List (Continental) Half-Richard’s Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ’s Sake Catch & Release Threadbare Friday, March 14 - Off Day in Austin It’s just absolutely beautiful today. We wake-up, have coffee, some of us bathe, and we grab an amazing Mexican lunch with Tim & family. After that it’s off to Congress Street and the Yard Dog gallery for much free cerveza at the Bloodshot Records party. We meet up with the Bobby Bare, Jr. crew, bump into a lot of old friends, drink a whole mess, and stagger a mile or so downtown to meet with the folks from Munich Records, our European label at their hotel. After that we scatter to catch different shows, and we all manage to make it back to Tim’s in one piece. Saturday, March 15 - Off Day in Austin It’s just absolutely beautiful today. We wake-up, have coffee, some of us bathe… stop me if you’ve heard this before. We do a little laundry before heading back to the Yard Dog for the Yep Roc/Red Eye/Harp magazine throwdown. More beer and free BBQ. Afterwards, we all scatter again. Scott heads to a show, I head to dinner with some friends and see Joe Jackson and Polyphonic Spree (the former okay, the latter simply amazing), Bret and Ed go drinking with Tim. And we all make it back home in one piece. Sunday, March 16 - Drive Day from Austin Sadly, the time has come for us to depart lovely Austin and drive westward, as we’re playing in Tucson tomorrow night. We say our goodbyes and drive for a good 10 hours before we stop in Las Cruces, New Mexico for the night. Sleep beckons and it feels good. And the oldies radio between Austin and Las Cruces is simply awesome: Los Bravos “Black is Black,” the Box Tops’ “Neon Rainbow,” Joe Tex’s “Hold What You’ve Got,” Ringo Starr’s “No-No Song.” Monday, March 17 - Tucson, AZ - Plush Nothing says "Happy St. Patty’s Day" like being in the middle of the desert. But that’s where we’re spending St. Patty’s Day, the first night of our two-week run with Bobby Bare, Jr. And, for, like the first time since the Carter administration, it’s raining in Tucson, pretty damn hard at that. Tonight we stay with Tim, who’s a friend of Ed’s sister. He’s got a pool, a hot tub, a pool table, a guest house, and a full post-show meal prepared for us by his lovely Italian friend Susanna. Ed’s sister should set us up with more places to stay. Opening tonight’s show is San Francisco-based band Court & Spark, which features Philly ex-pat Tom Heyman, late of the mighty Go to Blazes. They play some hazy Laurel Canyon type country rock, we do our thing with a little bit of rust, and the Bare, Jr. boys follow us with the first of what will be many an ass-whupping set. A brief word about tonight’s venue, the aptly named Plush: It sounds good, it smells good, and it looks good, with a lot of dark-grained wood and red velvet curtains. There’s a chap named Santiago walking around in Ray Bans and a satin smoking jacket, drinking from a goblet. It turns out he and I share the same affliction. We’re both Pisces, and we celebrate our birthdays (his 50th, my 31st) tomorrow. One more desert oddity: tonight I’ve had the first decent slice of pizza since we left Philadelphia. Whoever said that even when pizza sucks it’s still good doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. They probably say the same thing about sex. Set List Half-Richard’s Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You Catch & Release Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You Tuesday, March 18 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland It’s a long day’s drive, but we see some absolutely amazing stuff – mountains, desert, a spring training baseball contest, and everything in between. As expected, once we hit the greater L.A. area, there’s all sorts of traffic, so we take a detour to the hilly Silverlake section of L.A. (L.A. FUN FACT: In the ‘50s, when silver screen hunks like Rock Hudson would have the types of “discreet liaisons” the studios wanted to keep hush hush, Silverlake was known as the Swish Alps). We arrive to find out we’re the first of four tonight, on a bill featuring Court & Spark, the Hackensaw Boys and Bobby. Doors are at 9:00 and they want us to begin our half-hour set at 8:58. No fooling. Worse yet, once we ask nicely and have our set pushed back to 9:15 and extended to a whopping 40 minutes, the failed-soft-porn actress bartender won’t serve us because "she hasn’t had her cigarette" yet. Aw, c’mon sugar, what’s the problem? Didn’t get that movie with Stephen Baldwin and Shannon Tweed? When it looked like Bret wasn’t getting his pre show Jim Beam, I thought for sure she was gonna get hit with the C-bomb. But, ever the pro, Bret took the high road and we all got our drinks. A respectable gaggle of folks turns up early to see us and we get our frustrations out by playing a tight, spirited set. We spend the rest of the night toasting my birthday with the case of beer we snuck in from the 7-11 (sometimes, you gotta provide your own rider, y’know) and hanging with some friends who’ve turned out for the gig. One of which is Carnie Wilson (yes, daughter of Brian and formerly of Wilson Phillips) who’s married to my buddy Rob, a great guitarist-songwriter and Philly ex-pat. Drummer extraordinaire Ric Menck turns out just to see if I am in fact taller and lankier than he. I don’t think we ever did reach a conclusion. We head to Hollywood for a post-show meal before calling it a night at our pal Anna Borg’s abode. Set List Half-Richard’s Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ’s Sake Catch & Release Threadbare Wednesday, March 19 - San Francisco, CA - Cafe Du Nord Today is the first in a series of absolutely stunning drives. Nothing but mountains, hills, and lovely stretches of green as far as the eye can see. I can't say as though I miss the Delaware Valley's strip malls and "What a Girl Wants" billboards too much. It's raining as we hit San Francisco and we're greeted at the very dark and cool Café du Nord (a Swedish social club in another lifetime, where, funny enough the parents of our L.A. host Anna Borg met many years ago) by our very enthusiastic Red Eye retail rep Stephen King who gives us a hand loading in and briefs us on who he's invited out this evening. Oh, this just in: the war's on. Operation Iraqi Freedom, or whatever test-marketed Rambo catch-phrase they've come up with. As Bret will say often from the stage over the next week or so, you'd be hard pressed to find a more apolitical band than ours, so that's it here for the political commentary. Factor in this desert conflict with the rain and we're not expecting much of a turnout tonight. Surprisingly enough, a good crowd has assembled by the time we hit the stage, but they're a little reserved. Like they're expecting something more alt-country, or, as the Bare, Jr. boys derisively put it, "Y" alternative. Whatever, we hit 'em with mostly hard stuff and leave them crying in their beers. Court & Spark sneak into the middle slot tonight seeing as it's their hometown and last night with us. Afterwards, we meet some really nice folks, and I spend the next couple of hours drinking beers and catching up with my friend & Philly ex-pat Alex. She was kind enough to bring me a Spongebob Squarepants water pistol for my birthday. How'd she know? Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost Can't Have Me A Simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Catch & Release Threadbare Thursday, March 20 - Off day in Oakland We're staying with yet more friends of Scott's on our off day, the incredibly cool John & Claudia. Scott and Ed head into San Francisco for the day (where there's some serious anti-war riotin' goin' on) while Bret and I hang at the house to catch up on some work, watch the war on TV, and check out all the gizmos John has in his basement studio where we're sleeping. When the happy couple return home from work (Claudia's due any second now with their first child) they share some good Humboldt County smoke, good food, good beer, the new Lucinda Williams record, some Oreos for the mom-to-be, and John's dead-on Tony Blair impersonation. It's a great off day, to be sure. Friday, March 21 - Portland, OR - Satyricon It's a bloody long drive through northern California into Oregon, and by the time we reach Portland (a lovely city) it's pissing down rain. We get to Satyricon plenty early, catch up w/Bobby & company on our respective off-day activities, and then realize that every band in the world is also playing in town tonight: Supergrass, Stephen Malkmus, the Minders, the Vines, and I just heard a rumor that Hendrix is coming back from the dead and sitting in with the surviving Beatles. Oh well, we get on with the business of playing and it's a pretty damn good set, if not a light turn out for a Friday night. Sometime during the set, I tweak a cranky muscle in my back (the damp weather and sleeping on floors ain't helping) and I'm in a foul mood the rest of the night. Just ask Bret. We have a nice post-show meal at Satyricon's sister club next door, and head back to our host's Ian and Kate's house for a night's rest. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You Saturday, March 22 - Seattle, WA - Tractor Tavern We need a little mid-tour van maintenance so we leave the vessel in the hands of two very capable auto mechanic brothers who ask us, upon realizing we're in a band, "Do you guys get a lot of pussy?" "Does a Sears `Die-Hard' battery have a lifetime guarantee," I counter. We eat breakfast at a damn good punk-vegan place, do some thrift shopping (Bret picks up an ultra-spiffy corduroy jacket at my urging), and take another scenic drive up to Seattle. Yes, we're staying with more friends of Scott's, this time it's Judy and her fiancée, Aaron, who's one of the funniest fucking people I've ever met (and I know funny). Tonight's gig at the Tractor is a sell-out, and there's a nice piece about us in the Seattle Weekly, so we're looking forward to a rocking show. We're on first, but a good crowd has arrived by the time we get to bashing, some of whom even know who we are and hang on every word. Post-gig, we hang with a group of girls who drove down to Portland for last night's gig (one of the girls' father just hit the lottery, we find out), get our drink on, and watch the Bare, Jr. band kick unholy ass. Their guitarist, Chris, is a blind albino who plays guitar like a motherfucker. Tom, their bassist, is a lunatic with an afro. And the band's only been together a little over a month. Watching these guys tear it up each night gives us a jolt on stage, that's for sure. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Catch & Release Threadbare Sunday, March 23 - Seattle, WA - Sunset Tavern A two-night stand in any town is a Lovers' first. A two-night stand in Seattle works out perfect because we actually get to see some of a city we're playing in. Judy and Aaron take Scott and I around town on this sunny and lovely day. We take a walk through the market and have a nice look out over Puget Sound before grabbing some lunch. Scott searches for a knit cap in vain, and I buy up several pair of jeans that fit me just right, and it's back to the apartment to fetch Bret and Ed for tonight's gig. It's a bit more of a low-key affair tonight so we use Bobby's backline gear and play a few things we don't normally do. The country lament "Barely 5:30" rears its head for the first time in a coon's age and goes down smooth. "Do Ya" is its usual, crowd-pleasing self. Backstage after the gig, it's a certifiable rock and roll vibe. I'm not going into specifics, but let's just say your narrator was `accidentally' kneed in the groin, and then walked in on a drunk-ass Bobby Bare, Jr., standing in the middle of the bathroom with Bare, Jr., Jr. in hand, if you catch my drift. Everywhere you look people are drunk and messy. Rest assured, a splendid time was had by one and all. Some more than others, though. Set List Summer (of our First Hello) Forever Half-Richard's You (You, You) Barely 5:30 Anything at All Give it to the Soft Boys A Simple How Are You Bought Your Ghost Do Ya Monday, March 24 - Missoula, MT - Jay's Upstairs It's a mighty long hop from Seattle to Minneapolis (36 hrs, but who's counting) so we break it up a bit hooking this gig up with Palomar, a three-girl, one guy indie pop combo from Brooklyn. Missoula's pretty much your typical college town: a few bars, a Mexican place, a Thai place (where we eat), a video store, a taxidermist, and a head shop. For a Monday night gig in a college town during Spring Break, tonight's a mess of fun. Some noisy locals turn out and shower us with kind applause. Even the soundman likes us as he leaves his post about three songs in to come down front and rock out. I think this leaves the bar back doing sound. The bass head blows a couple of songs in, but Palomar kindly provides a back-up in a flash. Robyn Hitchcock's "Sleeping Knights of Jesus" has become the official "something's broken" song, and with the amount of malfunctions on this trek, we're almost at the point of actually knowing the song. Aside from that, all goes well until some lite beer-swilling yokel tries to be ironic and yells out, "What's y'all's name again, the Nigger Lovers?" What a noble idea, "I'll be racist, but I'll pass it off as irony!!" He introduces himself after the set whilst buying a record and swears he meant no harm; he was trying to be funny. His mortified girlfriend further apologizes for him. What a lucky, lucky lady she is. After the gig, it's a pitch-black, white-knuckle two-hour drive east to Helena where we're staying with our friends Pete and Christine. You officially have many friends when you know someone who lives in Helena. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle Sleeping Knights of Jesus (exploding bass head!) You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You Catch & Release Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You Tuesday, March 25/Wednesday, March 26 drive daze - Helena to Minneapolis We drive a long, long, long, long way from Helena to Minneapolis. We leave Helena about 2:30 Tuesday afternoon, and roll into our hotel just outside Minneapolis around noon on Wednesday. I wake up by myself in the van in a parking lot in Fargo around 6:30 am. I fear the band has stranded me for a younger, sexier drummer, but then I realize they've only run inside to grab flapjacks. I soon join them. I take the next round of driving and listen to Fargo's local morning show - the Bear and the Bandit- or some such thing. They're playing Quarterflash, John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band and Night Ranger as if 1985 has never left. Judging from some of the haircuts we see when we stop to gas up, I don't reckon it has. Wednesday, March 26 - Minneapolis, MN - 400 Bar Some nights you have it, and some nights you don't. Tonight we don't. And here's the strange thing. There's no violent train wrecks (though we need to start "Barely 5:30" twice, maybe three times - I honestly can't recall - as Scott clams pretty heartily), nothing breaks, and to the casual observer, it's probably a decent show. But to me, it just feels phoned-in as fuck. You can chalk it up to the grueling travel of the last day-and-a-half, the fact that the promoter pulls the old y'allternative switcheroo and throws us on first, but fuck all that. When you show up to play, you'd better damn well show up to play. I really, really need to be away from people for a while so I retire to the basement dressing room for some soul-searching and a few calls home. One great thing about the 400 Bar, though. It's owned by the Replacements' old road manager, so the place is crawling with old 'Mats photos, flyers and articles. Very, very cool. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Barely 5:30 Bought Your Ghost A simple How Are You Catch & Release Threadbare Do Ya Thursday, March 27 - Chicago, IL - Hideout Funny little road anecdote: Halfway between Minneapolis and Chicago, deep in the heart of Wisconsin cheese country, we stop off for lunch at a place called the Norsk Nook. It seems all the patrons, besides us, are heading to the big U of Wisconsin basketball game. The team is called the Badgers. They wear red. I'm wearing a red sweater. So, I'm using the bathroom, minding my own business and this guy steps up beside me and says, in an accent straight out of the film "Fargo," "Go Badgers, yeah?" Now, knowing what I know about guys in bathrooms speaking in code, I assume he's probably cruising for some sort of lavatory sexual liaison. I "cock" my head 90 degrees and give him a rather puzzled, "No comprende" look. He says, "Are you a Badgers fan? Big game today, huh?" I say, "No, I'm not a sports fan, just a communist. But go Badgers!" As for the gig, it would've been a whole lot better if the sound didn't set a new world record for sucking, and if Scott's bass rig (he's actually using Tom from Bare, Jr.'s rig) didn't go haywire. Tiny, tiny stage at the Hideout, too. But it's a cool club, tucked away in a warehouse district of Chicago, and we meet some very enthusiastic folks and some friends from back home (the Matt Pond PA crew is in the house, following their crosstown gig). We also meet Laurie Stiratt, sister of Wilco's John Stiratt and former member of our old labelmates Blue Mountain. Almost forgot, the guy from the opening band - Rev. Vince Anderson, a cross between Tom Waits and Dr. John, who looks a bit like former WWF manager "Captain" Lou Albano - gets butt ass neked during his set. Maybe it's because he, too, is a Badgers fan. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Sleeping Knight of Jesus/Catch & Release I Wanna Destroy You Friday, March 28 - Cleveland, OH - Beachland Tavern Tonight's officially the last night of the tour, though we're doing three more dates (one with Bobby) next week. We put all sound, performance, gear, and travel issues behind us tonight and just rock the fuck out. It's one of the better shows of the tour, for sure, and a nice-sized crowd is getting their groove on the whole way through. Taking a cue from Bobby's drummer, I'm now setting up closer to the front of the stage and on a side angle some nights. It's fun to do here because people can stand around the stage and get hit with my sweat, sticks and spit. All free with the price of admission. Much buzzed about Aussie garage rockers the Datsuns play in the bigger, adjacent Ballroom and from the couple of minutes of their set I caught, sounded pretty good. Though in the basement dressing room, I've never seen so many skuzzy looking guys with the same haircut and low-cut jeans in my life. It's like a casting call for a Strokes tribute band. After Bobby and company plays an awesome set, we load-out, say goodbyes, and pull an all-nighter drive back to Philly. We make it in just under 7 hours. My own bed has never felt so good. Real pizza has never tasted so good. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Threadbare Thursday, April 3 - Philadelphia, PA - The Khyber Let the record show that I was dead-set against doing this show. "People are sick of us in our hometown," I cried. But following early tour van mishaps, we needed the dough so I acquiesced. Following this disaster gig, I would've gladly fronted the money myself. My parents always told me if you can't say anything nice about a gig, your hometown rock club, its P.A., and its soundman, don't say anything. So I won't. But we've never walked offstage mid-song before, if that gives you any indication of how this night went. In addition to Bobby and crew, Jason Loewenstein's playing tonight. His band sounds great, and he's an incredibly nice fellow. So, at least that part of the gig was good. Set List You (You, You) Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Threadbare I Wanna Destroy You (aborted halfway in…) Friday, April 4 - Boston, MA - Bill's Bar Local rockers Godpocket invited us to open this hometown show for them and we can't thank them enough. Despite its proximity, we just don't make it up to Boston as much as we should. Compared to last night, tonight is like playing Madison Square Garden. Bill's Bar (located a long home run's distance from Fenway) has a great P.A. and a soundman that has a clue. Nasty traffic has us running way late so we use Godpocket's backline and kick out the pop rock jams in front of a crowd of curious onlookers (Godpocket lean a little more radio-friendly modern rock than us) and some Lovers faithful. We sell some stuff, have a few drinks, and head straight back home for tomorrow night's gig through freezing rain and snow on the Mass Pike. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost A Simple How Are You For Christ's Sake Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Threadbare Saturday, April 5 - West Chester, PA - Rex's Tonight's gig has a bittersweet feel to it. It's the last show of the tour for us, and it's also the last gig forever for our pals the University, who we're opening for tonight. Some comic relief comes courtesy of the opening band who arrive to the gig in a white stretch limo (I shit you not) and travel with an entourage of ladies who, shall we say, haven't been out of the house since David Lee Roth left Van Halen. Anyway, tonight's gig finds us firing on all cylinders and for once at Rex's, the PA holds up just fine. Lots of old friends are in the house and it's a damn fine way to end a tour. As we stop to gas up on the way home, we're stuck right in the middle of a girlfriend and boyfriend fighting and it looks like someone's gonna get a cap popped in their ass any second. I can't think of a better time to be heading home than RIGHT FRIGGIN' NOW. So we do. Thanks for listening. Set List Half-Richard's Forever Emmanuelle You (You, You) Anything at All Bought Your Ghost Give it to the Soft Boys A Simple How Are You Whole Wide World/Hey Little Child Ivy Grows Threadbare ***************** Summer (of Our First Hello)